Talk to strangers?
Yes, it's easy at Conversation
Cafés. You don't have to be 'in the know.'
You don't have to read a book. You don't have to
join an organization. You don't even have to think
up a good opening line. Skilled hosts lead you through
a simple process that helps you shift from small
talk to BIG talk and discover the magic of great
conversation. No committees will be formed.
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Why
should I talk to strangers?
What
difference will it make?
What
is a Conversation Café?
Why
this, why now?
But
I want to DO something!
Why
should I talk to strangers?
Sure,
it's easier to watch TV. It's easier to keep your lips buttoned
and stick to your routines. Sure, it's risky to talk to
people you don't know. You have no idea how they will react.
Sure it's hard to walk in to a public place, looking for
people you don't recognize who might be really different
from you. Sure, you might be smarter than everyone and be
bored. Sure you might be dumber and be embarrassed.
Sure.
Sure.
But
your mind is such a beautiful thing. It would be a shame
to waste it.
Talk
to strangers at a Conversation Café and you just
might find people who
- Listen
intently to what you have to say
- Can
laugh, question, and engage in friendly debate
- Help
you see your own next steps more clearly
- Careabout you, each other, and the world
Talk
to strangers. We dare you.
What
difference will it make if I talk to strangers?
Normally
Americans seem strangely reluctant to talk about things
that matter with people they don't know. Walk into a café
and you'll see one person per table. Other countries have
lively cultures of conversation and thus are better
able as a people to know what they think. Here we rely on
the commercial media and poorly constructed polls to tell
us what's on our minds and in our hearts.
Talking
with one another could be the most radical and healing act
we do. At times of crisislike
now, since September 11, 2001we
DO want to connect with each other. Strangers everywhere
ARE talking. It's only habit and custom that keep us apart,
not a natural disinterest or fear. Perhaps, in the process
of listening and conversing, we'll open our minds a bit.
Maybe even change them. And that's healthy. We need an engaged
populace in a robust, sustained, reasonable process of learning
to safely make it through this time.
What
is a Conversation Café?
It is
a one-and-a-half hour hosted conversation, held in a public
setting like a café, where anyone is welcome to join.
A simple format helps people feel at ease and gives everyone
who wants it a chance to speak. At Conversation Cafés,
everyone is "the talk show"and it's also
fine for people to simply listen.
Why
this, why now?
Learning.
In times of crisisbe it earthquakes, terrorist
attacks, war, layoffs, recessionspeople overcome their
fear of strangers. We recognize that we are all in thiswhatever
this istogether. We see how vulnerable we all are,
citizens and leaders alike. If we are brave, we even see
that something so new is happening that we don't know how
to cope. What do you do when you don't know what to do?
We must
fight terrorists! We must fight the policies that breed
terror and the desire for revenge! War-niks and Peace-niks
argue these positions. But these arguments are old, tired
and insufficient.
To paraphrase
Einstein, on September 11, everything about our world changed
except our way of thinking, and thus we drift to unparalleled
catastrophe
or opportunity. Which shall it be? What
will turn the tide? We don't know. But we can learntogetherthe
way through to a sustainable peace.
Conversation
Cafés are places where this collective learning is
happening.
Safety.
In times of crisis, when we feel threatened and insecure,
people feel a drive for safety. Safety can mean shutting
down or opening up. It can look like suspension of civil
liberties or hundreds of dialogues with "the other."
Shutting down can mean more guns, police, bombs, armies,
covert operations and wars. Opening up can mean more open
debate, more negotiation and more bringing perpetrators
to justice in courts of law.
Perhaps
public safety is as much a matter of us sustaining the compassion
and caring that happened in the weeks following September
11 as it is about beefing up surveillance and the military.
If any of this is true, then Conversation Cafés have
much to offer. Because they happen in public settings, people
who don't normally talk to one another can come together
to share their thoughts and feelings in a spirit of respect.
One person's view, expressed without a need to convince,
could open another person's eyes. It could soften preconceptions.
And being heard without judgement allows each person to
feel understood. Good conversation can change the world.
In this case, talk is not cheap-it is the most precious
thing we can do.
Fun.
Conversation Cafés aren't group therapybut
when you speak, people are all ears. Conversation Cafés
aren't the moviesbut as BIG talk swirls around the
table, the real movielifecomes alive. Conversation
Cafés aren't church, but your soul might stir. Conversation
Cafés aren't lectures, but you'll learn a lot from
the people who come. Conversation Cafés aren't going
out and getting drunk with your buddiesthank heavens!
But
I want to do something!
Don't
just stand there, do something! The American way. Get into
action. Fix things.
Yes,
there's a lot to do. Research. Writing to your congresspeople
expressing your views. Attending lectures and meetings.
Joining organizations that reflect your views. Volunteering
your time. Taking your perspectives to the courts or to
the streets.
Conversation
Cafés are not instead of action. They are before
actiona place to gather your thoughts, find your natural
allies, discover your blind spots, open your heart to the
heart of "the other." All movements begin in conversation.