Topics and Questions for Your Café

What questions do you want to put in the midst of a caring, lively group of people? Powerful questions are at the heart of Conversation Cafés. Here are some groups of questions that our hosts and partners have come up with. Use them as is, or let them inspire your own questions.

• Questions used in the first Conversation Cafés, to help people process the world after the events of Sept. 11, 2001.
• Two and a half years of questions from long-time host Larry Gaffin's Conversation Cafés at the Blue Willow Tea House, the Cafe Chazen, and Starbucks--Madison Park (see below for Larry's tips on generating topics).
• Two years of topics at the Pegasus, by Kat Gjovik.
• Three years of topics from Jim Rough's CCs in Port Townsend.
• Questions for All Comers from John Hartmann in Louisville, Kentucky.
• Questions and topics from other hosts everywhere!

During Conversation Week March 9-15th 2003, participating Cafés discussed the following set of questions:

• Most people struggling with their everyday lives seem to have little time or energy to really participate in democracy. If we find a way to slow down a little, what changes in the world seem possible?
• Has a conversation ever changed the way you feel about the world?
• Has a conversation ever changed the way you live or caused you to do something new?

Ebb and Flow of Conversation
Here's a great account of the lifecycle of a conversation, and it's success after the host dumped the original topic! Read the story...

Share your success AND failure stories too! We all want to learn from each other. Send them to [email protected].

Tips on Generating Topics
by Larry Gaffin

1. Most folks who return to my café come not because of the topic, but many do like to have a topic to think about in some manner before the next session. I've also found that newcomers whom I meet during the week before there first attendance, somehow feel more comfortable coming if there is a topic - that they are not just entering an unknown space and process of conversation - with strangers. It seems to provide a welcoming impact. It varies from week to week, but usually about one third to one half of the folks are new.

2. We spend no more than five minutes each week after the closing round picking the next week's topic. I always have two in my pocket but want the group to choose. Also, many of our topics naturally arise out of the evening's or several week's themes. Shaping the question is both fun and important. One week someone suggested the topic of Native Americans. Someone else immediately responded that the topic was much too broad. We agreed. We haven't yet gotten back to that topic but when we do we'll focus it more narrowly on something like, "What do you know about Native Americans". If you've lived near a Reservation, "What has been your experience?" "What is the contribution of Native Americans to your life experience?" We do want to connect with participant's life experiences as much and as often as possible. The conversations are always richer!

3. A few hosts say that they choose the topic with their group at the beginning of their session. Experiment with what works for you and your group.

4. Setting the stage. I always try to preface the topic or introduce it with a few comments of my own, with a related and short quote, how the topic got selected, etc.

5. I keep a file of possible ideas but only share one of two at a time to choose from. It's too hard in five minutes to try in a group of 8 or 15 or 30 to all agree on a topic if they are given too many to consider. My group is very congenial in the decision making process so it doesn't take us too long.

6. We haven't yet, but I'm sure we will, come back to a topic we've already discussed. Why? The group changes, we change, and our world around us changes. This will cause some repeated topics to be almost completely new. Perhaps care needs to be taken discussing a topic again, too soon, with the exact same group.

7. Our café spent 6 weeks on variations of the theme of community. Even then we didn't say the last word on it. I have observed a strong theme in almost all the conversations, regardless of topic, is community, connection and relatedness.

8. It may be obvious but I'll say it anyway, look for themes arising out of the concerns of the group and in current events.

9. A quick scan of a newspaper can usually provide a theme, a short article, an item for the café.