Waging Peace in Perilous Times

Sunday January 26, 2003
5:30 - 7:30 PM
Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 South Main, Seattle

Photos by Sean Carman

Sunday, January 26, 2003, Seattle: a Community Conversation Café with Nina Utne, co-publisher, UTNE Magazine, Ross Reynolds, host of The Conversation/KUOW, Alene Moris, leader on women’s issues, Vicki Robin, co-founder of Conversation Cafés, and a capacity crowd of Seattle citizens like you!

What could make peace break out now? Where is it already happening? How can we make it grow and last? What are your best ideas for peace in these perilous times? These were some of the questions discussed at the Community Conversation Café on Waging Peace in Perilous Times.

No one wants war. No sane person wants to "kill for peace." Yet we are in a war on terror and may wage a war in Iraq in the name of peace, security and freedom. Some believe these are just and necessary wars for global security. Some think they are arrogant and reckless US ploys for global dominance. Many of us muddle around in the middle. Whatever the reasons for war, we need to mobilize our imagination, intelligence and spirits towards peace. 250+ people shared thoughts, feelings and ideas for action with in one-hour, hosted conversation groups.

At Conversation Cafes, we discover and deepen our ideas by speaking them. We learn new perspectives through listening. Together, we make the path to peace – locally and globally – by talking.

Here is the press release. And by popular demand, here are the comments from our panelists:

Ross Reynolds: "Reaching Beyond the Choir"

Tomorrow the United Nations is scheduled to receive the first report of the arms inspectors scouring Iraq for weapons of mass destruction. The early word is they have found no "smoking gun". They intend to give the Iraqi's a "B" for cooperation.

But a B is a failing grade for the Bush administration, which continues to assert that no matter what the inspectors find, the Iraqi's are hiding weapons. There appears to be little deterring the administration from attacking Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein. Tens of thousands of U.S. troops have been moved into position around Iraq and more are on the way. How long can the President keep them there without using them?

So, the first question is, imagine, what could stop the war? Imagine a set of circumstances, a series of plausible events that could take place so there would be a step down.

Saddam Hussein's associates could depose him and seek a resolution. Saddam Hussein could take up thye offer to leave and seek sanctuary in Saudi Arabia. Not much we can do to make that happen. But imagine public opinion turning sharply against the President, causing him to rethink an Iraq attack. What would change minds?

We're here tonight to identify the conversations we should be having. But just as important, if not more important is this, who should we be having those conversations with?... Who supports the President's policy on Iraq? I would submit that to wage peace you must start talking to those who support war...at work, among your friends, or even at home...and here are some questions to ask them:

~ What weapons of mass destruction? We're told the proof is there, there's a smoking gun, that Saddamis hiding themn, that he's running circles around arms inspectors. Where is the proof? Do a thought experiment. Suppose there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. How could the UN inspectors or the Iraqi's prove that nothing exists?

~ Second question...do we really want the United States to set the precedent of pre-emptive war? If so, why? Are there some freedoms we must sacrifice to be safe? Can security come with no sacrifices? President Bush says Saddam Hussein is the biggest threat to the nation, he's ready to go to war against Iraq. What do you say is the biggest threat to the nation?... What does it mean to be a good citizen right now? What should we be doing?

~ If you're against the war, what are you for? If you think sanctions are inappropriate, what SHOULD the US do regarding Saddam Hussein? Nothing? Something else? What else?

You can't convince anyone unless you can get them to listen with an open mind. But I hear many arguments that may well be true but tend to close minds.

~ Example One. How much of a stupid, bloodthirsty jerk is George Bush, anyway? Personal attacks may make you feel better. They won't convince supporters of the President.

~ Example Two. The U.S. armed and bacvked Saddam Hussein. That's true but how does it pertain today? If it was wrong to support him then, aren't you in effect saying its RIGHT to oppose him now?

~ Example Three. U.S. foreign policy is alwsays wrong. It only supports elites and multi-national corporations. We created the entire mess. If you believe that, don't try to use it to convince supporeters of President Bush. You'll alienate them from jump street and they won't hear another word you have to say.

Those who seek to wage peace are passionate and frustrated. But you oppose war because you believe we can settle our differences by talk rather than violence. Put that belief in practice in the war of words over war in Iraq. Pursue diplomacy and conversation with the fellow Americans who you disagree with.

Alene Moris: "Masculinity in a Culture of Violence"
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I would like to suggest some controversial ideas this evening. I would like to suggest that if we are to wage peace in these perilous times, we need a transformation of our way of thinking as a nation. Since our country's beginning, in violence, the leaders of this country continue to have great confidence in violence as the way to solve problems.

We have to acknowledge the fact that we live in a culture designed by men for men. And it is this culture of violence that has to change if we are going to be able to wage peace. We have to work to change the macho culture, this arrogant bully culture, this distorted version of masculinity which permeates the lives of boys and men. We absolutely must find a way to bring forth real masculinity, a wonderful, vital, vigorous masculinity that reflects the face of the Creator.

Forty years ago, women realized that the old version of femininity was obsolete. In short hand, they no longer had 8 children, milked the cows and baked the bread. They knew they had to find a new way to be full human beings, they had to find new ways to use their God given gifts to contribute to society. They had to find a new definition of what it means to be a woman

However, men need to realize that the old version of masculinity is also obsolete. In short hand, they no longer have to kill the deer for food, they no longer need to fight off tigers and lions, they no longer have to personally protect their always pregnant wives and their broods of children. The world has changed so radically that men must completely redefine what it means to be a man.

After VietNam, I was so hopeful that the veterans would start to question the distorted masculinity of their ego driven leaders that took them into such a hell hole, but the power of the culture was too much for them. The traditional male propaganda by the elite whose sons seldom went to war was intense and powerful.

Our leaders are still committed to the American definition of masculinity which is simply, "the willingness to be violent". This is true domestically and internationally; the issue is really the fact that men have been taught that they have to be in control of any situation, they have to be winners, and if violence can't be avoided, they have to be willing to use whatever means necessary to stay in control. If they don't, they are stigmatized as wimps, losers, and a variety of other terms to question the guys' masculinity and let them know that they aren't "real men".

So, I am proposing that we will never be able to wage peace until we address this underlying culture of violence, this way of thinking. We will continue to have violence of all sorts, physical violence, economic violence, psychological violence, until we honestly address this dominant theme of the American culture. We will continue to have Columbine High School boys who have been bullied- strike back with deadly force; we will continue to have the poor and hopeless around the world strike back at the rich and powerful. As Martin Luther King said, "There can be no peace without justice!" And we all know that we are NOT practicing justice either here or abroad. This lack of justice is why the macho culture has to be willing to be violent in order to keep control.

In closing, I repeat that we need a spiritual transformation, a metanoia, a profound awareness that we are all children of the Creator, that we are all parts of one glorious human mosaic. We need to understand, at the deepest level, that when we are violent to someone else, we do violence to our selves. Do to others what you would have done to you. That is new thinking.

Revenge, retaliation, eye for an eye violence is old thinking, recorded in all the old books of the world's religions. But the new prophets all called for peace, for an end to violence. Leaders today in our country, in Israel, in Palestine, any place where religion is the energy of violence, the leaders are operating out of the old way of thinking. In the case of our leaders, they are operating out of the Old Testament. They are certainly not following New Testament teachings.

I think this transformation in our way of thinking will be much harder for the men in our society than it will be for the women. Women don't start the journey with this huge burden of distorted, macho masculinity on their backs. Men have a big task just throwing off all that garbage before they can address the issue of who they need to be for the future.

They are at the place that women were forty years ago when we had to first throw off all the obsolete notions of the Feminine before we could start the long and difficult task of defining a new version of womanhood. We are still struggling in many ways; the task is a messy work-in-progress but at least we are on the road to a future that has some hope in it.

I want to make one point very clear. I am NOT saying that women are more intelligent than men. I also am NOT saying that women are more virtuous. We all know that isn't true. Individual women are just as likely to live in the shadows as men are but as the statistics show, our ugly behaviors rarely become violent. And that is the crucial issue for our survival.

Moreover, since the beginning of time, women have had to risk letting their bodies be used to bring forth the next generation, (they know the cost of creation), women have been the nurturers, the givers of care to others, the maintainers of civility. Exactly the traits needed in our future world. All the dimensions of the world need to be nurtured: the environment, the children, the health care systems, the educational systems, the legal systems. Everything in our world needs to be loved and nurtured.

Some men who lead groups already trying to heal the tragedies of the world are wonderful men who have shrugged off the dominant macho culture and transformed themselves into vital men of determination and vision and energy trying to create a new culture. But these men of peace who do not accept the macho rules often get killed for their betrayal of the male code. Gandi, Martin Luther King, Bobbie Kennedy, our own Tom Wales. Every one here can name their heroes. But we need more and more men of courage to demand a new way of being in this world.

The tragic point, here tonight, is that most of our leaders are still stuck in the past. Ego, fear of losing face, refusal to apologize, reluctance to negotiate, the willingness to go it alone like the myth of the old fashioned cowboys. All these macho traits are alive and well and playing in full color on the TV screen each evening.

And we women let them get away with it. Many women have forgotten their feminine values and have bought the male culture themselves. Such women can often outmacho the men in their drive to be one of the boys. We see them all the time. I understand how it happens but we must not look to this kind of woman as a leader for the future.

Most women, however, are simply too busy as they try to maintain both the ridiculously high standards of the home and family and the rigid demands of a male designed workplace. They do all they can for their communities within the thin margins around their primary responsibilities, not realizing that their children will have no future at all if the present addiction to violence continues. Our beloved country will be, at the very least, morally and financially bankrupt.

So, in summary, I would propose for your consideration this evening the possibility that the best way to wage peace is for men and women to do everything possible to bring a critical mass of women into decision making positions so they can act as strong partners to the fine men who are trying to bring our country into the 21st Century by non violent means. There is now a large pool of highly competent women who have not lost their feminine values. They tend to be found in places like the presidency of a university, a CEO of a large non profit, or a founder of their own company. They just have not been encouraged into public leadership given the corruption of the election process. We need them and we need other strong, mature women to come forth and demand to be heard.

Men and women in genuine partnership WOULD be groundbreaking, never seen before in recorded history, and I believe that this radical experiment in male/female leadership could bring about something brand new: a peaceful society that is vital, vigorous, exciting and dynamic. Instead of always living with the drumbeat of injustice and possible violence, we could experience some real joy and hope.

I just hope I can mimic wicked old Strom Thurmond and live long enough to see the beginnings of this new world!