The setting is a small beer, coffee and juice bar near the beach. An upright piano half fills one wall, as the owner is a former piano bar singer turned voice teacher. Pictures of her with other bands or famous people dot the walls and an unstudied array of indigenous crafts, plants, candles and interesting artwork enrich the setting, making it feel both exotic and comfortable. There are a few tables, an assortment of chairs that don’t match and a small settee.

Tonight, eight people have gathered, at the invitation of my friend Jorge Mello, to participate in a Conversation Café with the founder - moi - who happens to be lolling on the beach for a few days. Our hostess at first keeps us supplied with drinks and then, intrigued, sits down to join in.

Mind you, I don’t speak Portuguese and only one of the others speaks English. How do we have a conversation???

Conversation Café is pleased to announce that Susan Partnow will be facilitating Conversation Café host trainings. The next training will be held on May 18th at 5:30 pm PDT (8:30 pm EDT). Please see the announcement below for registration information.

One of the key ingredients for a lively and deep conversation is the quality of the question. How we frame an issue is fateful and sets us on a vector that can become divisive and polarizing or inviting and expansive in our thinking. The key is to develop a question that calls for reflection and personal sharing and avoids embedded assumptions. Consider the difference in these examples offered by the Public Conversation Project:

• What thoughts and feelings are stirred in you when you see a flag on a car or a house or a lapel? If and when you display one, what does it mean to you? (yes!)

or

• What do you think of all the flag-waving that is going on out there? (no!)

Personal sharing encourages people to speak from their own experience and reveals the underlying values and needs that lead them to their perspective, opening for us a deeper level where we can all find ways to relate. Sweeping generalizations or abstractions often polarize, stereotype, and separate us. It’s also important to avoid jargon, judgments, or red flag words.

Here at CC Central, we love to get reports from folks hosting or attending Conversation Cafés!

Preston Pouteaux, of the Lutheran Church of Our Savior in Calgary shared this wonderful anecdote:

"We recently tried a “trial-run” conversation café with a group we have called “the Gathering.”  For this event we created five conversation tables all discussing the same question.  In a strange turn of events, four adult siblings were at the get-together.  As it turns out, these siblings have never sat down and listened to each other – ever!  They were amazed to hear each other out and learned to respect each others’ opinions and ideas.  Now, they want to take the conversation café to their parents and try it there!  We were all astounded at their story when we talked afterwards."

We'd love to here YOUR stories! What has happened at your Café that inspired you, informed you, helped you "bridge the gap" in your community?

Join our own Susan Partnow, professional trainer and CC co-founder, for a telephone training on May 18th at 5:30 Pacific Time/8:30 Eastern Time. Sign up yourself, or (and!) forward the newsletter along to other folks you know who would enjoy a jump-start into CC hosting. $12 for 90 minutes.
To register contact [email protected]

By Online Movie, and DVD
Watch a training video online:

Watch Conversation Café's host training video, featuring 27 wonderful minutes of everything you need to know to host a Conversation Café, brought to you by CC's personable co-founders, Vicki Robin and Susan Partnow. You can view or download the movie for free on the CC website here.

Host training on DVD:

If you would like a copy on DVD, you can send a donation of $25-$10 plus $2.50 shipping and handling to Conversation Café c/o New Road Map Foundation, PO Box 15320, Seattle, WA 98115.