The Art of Framing Questions

One of the key ingredients for a lively and deep conversation is the quality of the question. How we frame an issue is fateful and sets us on a vector that can become divisive and polarizing or inviting and expansive in our thinking. The key is to develop a question that calls for reflection and personal sharing and avoids embedded assumptions. Consider the difference in these examples offered by the Public Conversation Project:

What thoughts and feelings are stirred in you when you see a flag on a car or a house or a lapel? If and when you display one, what does it mean to you? (yes!)

or,

What do you think of all the flag-waving that is going on out there? (no!)

Personal sharing encourages people to speak from their own experience and reveals the underlying values and needs that lead them to their perspective, opening for us a deeper level where we can all find ways to relate. Sweeping generalizations or abstractions often polarize, stereotype, and separate us. It’s also important to avoid jargon, judgments, or red flag words. Let’s consider more examples:

How can businesses become more socially responsible? (no!)

This question assumes everyone agrees that businesses should be socially responsible, and that they are not sufficiently responsible now. Also, the phrase “socially responsible” may not be familiar to, or have the same meaning for everyone. Perhaps a better place to begin would be something like:

Think of those businesses whose practices you admire. What is most encouraging, reassuring, or inspiring for you about how they are run? How is your life affected by the role that businesses play in the world?” (yes!)

A question for another possible topic:

How do we reduce the influence of government in civil society? (no!)

Can you see the problem? Are you starting to get it? This question embeds the assumption that there is agreement that the influence of government should be reduced, and avoids exploration of the underlying issues. Consider instead:

What is most encouraging, confusing, or worrisome for you about influence of government in civil society? (yes!)

Then as a follow up:

How have you experienced the influence of government in your life and how does it reflect your values? (yes!)

and/or:

How have your responses and concerns shifted over time? (yes!)

Take a look at the questions offered at Conversation Café topics for some great examples.

Susan Partnow is a co-founder of Conversation Cafés, and a Partner Coordinator of Let's Talk America