Hosts Talk, We Listen

by Vicki Robin

You have spoken! Forty of you filled out the Conversation Café Survey last Fall, giving us a clearer picture of what’s working and what’s not, what’s compelling to you about the CCs and what you need from “CC-Central.”

Here’s a snapshot of what you said:

True to the original idea, most of you experienced the CCs in a café, but this dialogue method has jumped the fence and is being used at community events, at work, in civic groups, in churches, at conferences and workshops, and even at a Buddhist Monastery. What is the sound of one jaw flapping?

You see deep listening and deep hearing as the greatest value of the CC’s, but the stimulation of new people, new ideas, new insights into self and life is also important to you. Community building and discussing hot topics with a cool process also rate high. Those conversations with diversity – of opinion, race, age or class – have been very alive, and some of you yearn for more such polarities to increase the vitality and sense of discovery around your tables. “How to increase diversity” would be a great topic for peer learning through the list-serve. Those who’ve been successful have something to teach the rest of us.

And here’s an interesting idea from one of you – have several topics selected by the group and split up into smaller circles for these different conversations.

Besides diversity, the other “what could be better theme” was around the “Goldilocks” factor – people want hosts who are not too lax, not too rigid, not too overbearing, not too casual with ‘enforcing’ the CC agreements. Guess that means each of us should get some input from our CC guests about how to fine-tune our hosting skills.

As for our experience as hosts, some interesting results came in. CC Central can best serve you doing precisely this – sending out a quarterly newsletter. You are especially interested in stories about the impact of CCs in the world as well as some ‘hints and tips’ for hosting. Quite of few mentioned needing some more guidelines – and downright help – crafting good CC questions. And many of you are willing to write for or edit the newsletter (we will call you for the next one).

Surprisingly, fewer said you’d like more training in hosting skills – especially via the phone. Over half, however, would like a Coach from among the more seasoned hosts. Fifty percent said they’d be willing to be a Coach for new hosts – and feel ready enough for that role without further training. Perhaps a new service of CC Central could be matching up seasoned host-Coaches and new hosts.

While you don’t seem to fancy telephone trainings or host conference calls, you’d welcome more regional face to face gatherings and perhaps some in person training in deeper hosting skills. Perhaps the real time, real face quality of the CCs attracts people who like to see the whites of other’s eyes rather than the touchpad of their phones.

The list-serve seems helpful to those who use it. Please be sure you are signed up [go to …website…]. This format is especially useful for hosting ‘troubleshooting.’ The list has lit up usually around a host requesting help with particular challenges.

What does this add up to? Very good news - CC hosts love hosting and feel empowered to run their Conversation Cafés in their locales. CC Central’s role is to simply maintain the website plus support old and new hosts with newsletters, coach-matching and perhaps more materials on the website.

We generated the CC Method by asking, “What’s the minimum structure that will allow friends, neighbors and strangers to meet in public places and shift from small talk to BIG talk?” It seems a version of this question is also what we need to ask about the role of CC Central in Seattle: what’s the minimum set of services Seattle might offer that will allow hosts around the world shift their communities – through Conversation Cafés – from small talk to BIG talk? Now you’re talkin’…